Wouldn’t It Be Nice: The “There’s Plenty of Money Act”of 2012

July 20, 2011

By David Swanson

[Just so there’s no confusion, this is NOT a real congressional bill. But it should be! – Ed.]

112th CONGRESS
1st Session
To highly resolve that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the United States of America.

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IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
July 12, 2011

A BILL

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the Start Doing Our Damn Jobs Act of 2012.

SEC. 2. STOP KILLING PEOPLE

(a) The combined appropriations of the Department of Defense, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Veterans Affairs, and all military appropriations made through the Department of State, the Department of Energy, and all other military appropriations shall never be more than twice the funding, in absolute dollars, spent on its military in the previous year by the highest military-spending nation on earth other than the United States of America.

(b) The Department of Defense will be audited annually by the United States Congress.

(c) The Central Intelligence Agency will cease to exist. Its buildings will be sold at public auction.

(d) The National Security Agency will cease to exist. Its buildings will be sold at public auction.

(e) No dollars will be appropriated by the United States government for any secret budgets or any agencies engaged in any secret operations.

(f) No slush fund will exist which might permit a president to launch a war without Congressional declaration thereof.

(g) The U.S. military, within 90 days of passage of this bill, will cease all operations in and withdraw all personnel from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Libya, Yemen, Somalia, and every other area of earth outside the 50 states of these United States. This covers every human being in the direct or indirect employ of the United States of America in a military capacity of any sort, and includes every nation and territory in which U.S. personnel are located.

(h) The United States will not use the services of any other nation to imprison any human being. The right to habeas corpus and the rights enshrined in the United States Constitution will apply to every person our government has any contact with.

(i) Employees of the United States military will not be employed through any private contractor, but directly by the military.

(j) Violation of this Section shall be considered an impeachable offense. The House Committee on the Judiciary shall hold public hearings on the question of whether to ask the full House of Representatives to impeach any president, vice president, or other officer of the U.S. government who appears to have engaged in such a violation.

(k) Violation of this Section shall be punishable by the forfeiture of all worldly possessions and one month in jail.

SEC. 3 WE CANNOT AFFORD BILLIONAIRES

(a) A household with annual income, including investment income but excluding inheritance, less than 2,000 times the federal minimum hourly wage will pay no income tax. A household with income above and up to twice that base amount will pay 1 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to three times the base amount will pay 2 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to four times the base amount will pay 3 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to five times the base amount will pay 4 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to six times the base amount will pay 5 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to seven times the base amount will pay 6 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to eight times the base amount will pay 7 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to nine times the base amount will pay 8 percent income tax. A household with income above that level and up to ten times the base amount will pay 9 percent income tax. A household with income above ten times the base amount will have all income above ten times the base amount taxed at 100 percent. There will be no exceptions, exemptions, or complications to this practice.

(b) A household receiving an inheritance worth less than 2,000 times the federal minimum hourly wage will pay no estate tax. The same tax rates will apply as for income. Estates worth above ten times the base amount will have the portion exceeding ten times the base amount taxed at 100 percent. There will be no exceptions, exemptions, or complications to this practice.

(c) Money will not be loaned at greater than 10 percent interest.

(d) Workers have the right to organize, to strike, and to strike in solidarity with others.

(e) Violation of this Section shall be punishable by the forfeiture of all worldly possessions and one month in jail.

SEC. 4 CARBON IS COSTLY

(a) Emitting carbon dioxide into the atmosphere shall be taxed at $50 per ton in 2012, a rate that shall be increased by 20 percent annually for each of the next 10 years, after adjusting for inflation.

(b) Violation of this Section shall be punishable by the forfeiture of all worldly possessions and one month in jail.

SEC. 5 LEAVE SOCIAL SECURITY ALONE

(a) Social Security funding shall not be used for anything other than Social Security and shall never be invested or otherwise placed at risk.

(b) Payroll taxes shall cease to exist, and Social Security be funded each year by income tax revenue, prior to the appropriation of funding for anything else.

(c) Violation of this Section shall be considered an impeachable offense. The House Committee on the Judiciary shall hold public hearings on the question of whether to ask the full House of Representatives to impeach any president, vice president, or other officer of the U.S. government who appears to have engaged in such a violation.

(d) Violation of this Section shall be punishable by the forfeiture of all worldly possessions and one month in jail.

SEC. 6 HEALTHCARE IS A HUMAN RIGHT

(a) This bill incorporates here the full text of H.R. 676 creating a single-payer health coverage system.

SEC. 7 SHUT UP ALREADY

(a) Any person claiming on U.S. television or radio airwaves that this wealthiest nation on earth is short on money or needs to cut back on human services in order to pay its debt shall be required to write 500 times on Glenn Beck’s blackboard “There’s plenty of money, but the wars and Wall Street take it all. What in the world was I thinking?” Φ

David Swanson is the author of War is a Lie.

Tags: Communism, social reform, anti-war, self-defense, illiteracy, bankruptcy in earnest, eliminating competition, free-market, Portugal, Ireland, and Greece redux,

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